S4, E7: Your Style Restart Post-Divorce with Courtney Robinson

In this episode of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club, host Erica Bennett sits down with style mentor Courtney Robinson to delve into the intricacies of building a wardrobe that reflects your authentic self. From understanding body types to curating a versatile capsule collection, Courtney shares her expert advice on looking and feeling confident.

Erica and Courtney discuss the importance of quality over quantity, the power of accessorizing, and the emotional impact of embracing your current body. Tune in for practical tips and heartfelt stories that will inspire you to declutter your closet and revamp your style.

Don't miss Erica's personal anecdotes and Courtney's seasoned insights on dressing intentionally and authentically.

 

Ready to Stop the Body Bullshit?

If you are tired of beating yourself up for how you look and feel, check out this 30-Day Mental Detox. This isn’t a diet. This is your guide to finally putting down the weight of judgment, shame and blame on your body.

Learn more about the digital course HERE 

 

Learn More About This Week’s Guest: Courtney Robinson

Courtney Robinson, Speaker and Style Mentor at Image by Courtney is committed to empowering women executives, experts, and entrepreneurs. Her personalized approach to styling transcends fashion, curating authentic, tailor-made wardrobes that exude poise, passion, and presence. Courtney emphasizes that investing in your wardrobe is investing in yourself, and she underscores the transformative power of a strong personal brand in driving personal and professional success. Her mission is to help women recognize and use their strengths for maximum impact. 

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Your Style Restart Post-Divorce with Courtney Robinson FULL TRANSCRIPTS

 Erica Bennett [00:00:00]:

How many of you have been excited? You're ready to get back out there. You maybe want to go socialize with the girls, or maybe you even have a date already. And then you go to your closet and you're like, oh, I haven't had to actually put on going out clothes in years. And it starts this whole thing about finding your style and figuring out who you are. And today's guest is going to help you navigate that phase of your journey. Welcome to the Crazy Ex Wife's Club, a podcast dedicated to helping women navigate the emotional journey that is divorce. I'm your host, Erica. And if you're trying to figure out life after the big d, welcome to the club.

 

Erica Bennett [00:00:46]:

Whether you're contemplating divorce or dealing with the aftermath or any of the many phases in between, the club has got you covered. Each week, you'll hear stories from women who have been in your shoes. This isn't about spilling tea and divorce details. This is about giving you the tools to take control of your own healing journey. Listen in weekly for advice, tips, and tools to help you move through each stage of the process. Hello. Welcome back to another episode of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club. I'm your host, Erica, and today I have Courtney Robinson with me.

 

Erica Bennett [00:01:21]:

Courtney is a speaker, she's a style mentor, and she runs her business Image by Courtney. Thank you for joining us today, Courtney. I'm super excited because I think this is an area that I have always struggled in. I worked in the beauty industry. I get it. I got it, whatever. But if you're not always jumping on every trend, which is not really a possibility when, you know, income is limited, if you're restarting, restarting a job, restarting after divorce, it was really hard for me to try and find my style again.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:01:51]:

Yes. Thank you for having me. And I'm super excited to dive into this because you're right. And everyone has gone through this in some way, shape, or form because our style evolves, right?

 

Erica Bennett [00:02:04]:

Yeah. And there's so many life changes that it goes through. Right. You know, like, I remember I was, you know, your college, and then I got my first job, and I was field sales in the beauty industry, so we wore all black when I was in California, and that was easy and delightful, and I could find clothes everywhere. Then I moved to the Midwest, and now we're in a corporate office in the Midwest, which is very different than a corporate office in San Francisco or San Jose or any of the other places. I had to come up with a whole new outfit, you know, to go through. And then there was, oh, I became a yoga teacher. Then I had yoga clothes, and then I became a mom, and then I needed mom clothes.

 

Erica Bennett [00:02:40]:

Right. And then the big one, I got divorced, and I was like, good lord, you know, do I still love my body? What do I want to show off about my body? And especially because, you know, last time you were out dating and dressing for dating, you were probably in your twenties, and things were a little different back then. I found it to be fun but challenging.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:03:02]:

Absolutely. But we can definitely work through that. I really believe in having a streamlined and a functional wardrobe, something that can serve you in all those different aspects of your life. We can really dig into that. I really think there's a way for you to curate a wardrobe that really serves you and all those different ways.

 

Erica Bennett [00:03:23]:

Let's talk a little bit about that, because I think that that is a big piece, you know, something that's functional and something that is a multitasker. Right. Cause so often I go out and I shop, and I buy a single piece because I love the single piece. And then I get home, and it works with nothing. Happens a ton with shoes. But how do you build the functional part of your wardrobe?

 

Courtney Robinson [00:03:46]:

I love that you brought this up because it's one of the things that I really focus on when I talk about outfit planning. Right. And curating outfits is that you cannot buy one piece. Well, you can, but what you need to ensure is that one-piece coordinates with at least three other things in your wardrobe. And that is what is helping you ensure that you have a functional wardrobe, because then you know that you have other things to pair it with. Right.

 

Erica Bennett [00:04:13]:

Yeah.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:04:13]:

So that's the most important thing, is just being really intentional about the purchases that you're making and making sure that it coordinates with something else you already have.

 

Erica Bennett [00:04:23]:

Yeah. It's so funny because I think that I got that when I was buying my wardrobe for the corporate office. And primarily that was because I kind of went in in one fell swoop, you know, and went to one store and ended up hitting the jackpot. Right. I found all sorts of outfits and sweaters and layering pieces. And a couple times I've had really great sales associates who just loved styling people, and they'd be like, oh, my gosh. Okay, let me get you another thing. And this would layer.

 

Erica Bennett [00:04:51]:

And this would layer. I remember I was on a work trip once, and I was just killing time in the mall, and I left having to buy another suitcase because the salesperson was so good at showing me how many different layering options, I could get out of it. If somebody's looking to redo their wardrobe, is there one layering piece you need to start with first? Like, do you start with the, like, leggings, pants. Jeans, trousers? Or do you start with the shoes? Because this is always where it gets stuck, you know?

 

Courtney Robinson [00:05:19]:

Yeah, well, there are definitely some fundamentals you should have, but that's different for everyone because it really depends on what you do the most in your life. Right. If you're a work from home person, I might recommend that, you know, some different pieces than if you are going into the office. But to your point, there are some foundational pieces that you should have and that you should start with. And I tend in my own wardrobe to go toward what I call seasonless pieces, which are pieces that I can wear throughout the year. So let me give an example. I'm really into wrap dresses, and I love Jersey knit because that's a material that really travel with.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:06:02]:

It travels well. It washes well, you know, all those things. But the great thing about this jersey knit wrap dress is that I can wear it in the summertime as just the wrap dress, but then come fall and winter, I can put some tights on with it and some booties, and it’s a, it's, you know, appropriate for the weather. It's just about finding those things that will help you transition the seasons and that you can wear all year long. So that's one way to look at, you know, building an intentional wardrobe. Another is to shop by capsules. Building little capsules that fit those different areas of your life.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:06:46]:

You can build a capsule for work. You could build a capsule for outings with the kids, more athleisure wear. You could build a capsule for, say, you're somebody who has to show up for, I don't know, galas or, you know, really high-end events. Maybe you have something within that. So really focusing on those little capsules. And the capsules are not all the clothes. They're intentional pieces that are meant to work together. And so that's an approach that you can take as well.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:07:16]:

I think you just have to decide, you know, what's most important in this season or what am I prioritizing in my wardrobe and then start there.

 

Erica Bennett [00:07:26]:

Yeah. Because part of it, too, is kind of figuring out who the new you is. You know, a lot of my clothes, and especially, obviously, when I transitioned out of corporate. So that was, like, my second divorce. Right? My marriage divorce and my work divorce. But through each of those, I really gutted my closet because there were a lot of pieces I had just held onto because it was comfortable to wear in that role. But since that role was no longer there, I was like, on my free day, do I desire and feel good to wear this piece? Like, does it bring me joy? Does it bring me pleasure to get dressed up in this outfit or not? And when it didn't, you know, little Marie Kondo. Right.

 

Erica Bennett [00:08:06]:

The Japanese art of tidying up. Like, I was like, oh, if I don't love, if it's not comfortable, if it doesn't feel good on my skin, if I don't like how I look in it, I'm getting rid of it. And that was really trying to figure out then what are my values when it comes to, what do I want to look like when I'm out and about?

 

Courtney Robinson [00:08:23]:

Absolutely. You. You hit on probably one of the most important things about personal style. Right. When you know those things about yourself, that's the authentic part, and that's what definitely has to be infused into your style. What are your beliefs? What are those features that you love about yourself? How do you wear things that make you feel absolutely amazing? And to your point, when you're paring down or working on your wardrobe, everything that does not make you feel amazing has to go. And things that don't serve you in this season absolutely has to go. Like, there's no use in holding on to those things that don't allow you to show up as the most beautifully powerful version of yourself.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:09:05]:

And if you're struggling with finding that, again, as you mentioned, you really have to press into, what are my values in this season? What are the things that I value? What are the qualities that I love about myself? What are the qualities that people compliment me on in my life? And those things will lead you to an authentic style.

 

Erica Bennett [00:09:25]:

Yeah. And I think if you're sitting there and you're like, oh, my gosh, but what if I need that piece again? Because that always happens to me. Just pack it up for a couple months or for one whole season. Right. And then unpack it and see if, oh, do I still not like it. Sometimes I get a little tossing regret that I have moved something out that I should have held onto, but it's kind of few and far between. What happens more often is that I'm holding onto something and telling myself, okay, well, I will wear it. I will wear it.

 

Erica Bennett [00:09:56]:

And what I do then is I don't free up the space in my life to bring in something that I actually love.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:10:02]:

Exactly.

 

Erica Bennett [00:10:03]:

And that's kind of true in all of our lives, right. If we just hold on to the junk and the stuff and the someday, I'll use it, it pulls down your energy. It drags down your energy, you know? So being able to free yourself of that and start fresh is really important. I definitely took to Pinterest because I was trying to figure out what my style was, right. And, like. And I was like, what do I really like wearing? What do I feel beautiful in? Because there's two pieces to it. There's the, what do I like when I look at somebody else? And then what do I like when I actually put it on myself? Because sometimes those are a little different. I always pin pictures of women with long, long blonde hair, right.

 

Erica Bennett [00:10:47]:

And they're tall and, like, thin, and I'm short and super muscular. So those two styles do not always align. But it. It helped me kind of get an idea of how I wanted to layer things. Or if I did create an outfit, what was I missing? And a lot of times it was things like, you know, earrings and the little pieces.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:11:10]:

I love that you did that. So that was you just taking the bull by the horns and really diving into what you aspire to. I encourage women to keep a wish list of those things that they love and those things that once they do decide to toss something or get rid of something, they can welcome that new pace, that new piece in, because that's something also that will help you maintain that streamlined and functional wardrobe, is that you need to get rid of something to be able to bring something in. You just don't keep adding, adding, adding that adds to the whole madness that creates decision fatigue. You can't really decide because you've got all the things, but none of them really work together. But something that you mentioned also that I wanted to honing in on is really dressing your now body. Right. We have to appreciate where we are right now in our journey.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:12:00]:

Don't wait until you lose that extra ten pounds or whatever that goal is. Figure out a way to really feel confident and comfortable where you are right now while you're on the journey to where you want to be. I think that's super important. I know from my experience in working with my clients, that's one of the things that holds them back. We get through the detox. We talk about refinement and where they want to be. And then when we're ready to shop. Oh, no, no.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:12:26]:

I'm not ready to shop because I have ten pounds to lose, and I'm like, okay, well, that sets us back because that's not really you are honoring where you are right now in your process and your journey. Right. And you deserve to shine right now. Let's figure out what we need to do for you to shine right now again, while you're on the way to where you're going.

 

Erica Bennett [00:12:48]:

Yeah. And I found that when I got stuck in those moments because I've had some, too. With the divorce, my weight was up. Then it was down to a bit of an unhealthy high school age lowest because I just was so broken. And then it, you know, got pretty consistent for a lot of years. And then recently, things I haven't been working out as much. My whole structure has changed, so it went up a little bit again, and I was holding on to all the clothes that no longer fit because I knew I was going to get back to that weight. And what I was doing instead was just not embracing where I was.

 

Erica Bennett [00:13:22]:

Every time I looked at my closet, every time I had to go get ready to go out, I was reminded that I'm not at the place that I wanted to be. And I used to feel so great about all of this stuff. And I finally gave in and just, I was like, go buy some jeans and some clothes that you're in right now. Not a ton. You don't need to go buy 20. But I bought a couple, and it made all the difference, because all of a sudden, every time I wore my jeans, I didn't feel like I was two sizes too small. I felt like, oh, I could just love me again for who I am while I'm on my journey to building what this new wave of fitness and body looks like.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:13:58]:

I love that. Kudos to you. I mean, that's so important. And we've all gone through that at some point in our lives. That's just the hallmark of being a woman and the transitions that we go through, whether it's having a baby or getting married and putting on weight because you're happy or then the opposite. I mean, there are all these cycles that we go through, so appreciate the stage that you're in, and like you said, just kind of embrace it. You don't have to buy all the things, but, yeah, a few really key pieces that make you feel good and allow you to show up again in a powerful way are really important.

 

Erica Bennett [00:14:34]:

Because it's so important to love your body the way it is now in order for it to change. I have have a program. I'll bring it back out when we do this one. It's called stop the body bullshit. And it is just a mental body detox. It is 30 days of teaching you how to fall back in love with your body because we try so hard to make it change so then we can love it. It's really about how do you love and accept it right now? And guess what? When you love and accept it, you treat it different. You don't do as much emotional eating.

 

Erica Bennett [00:15:06]:

You eat more healthy things. You walk different, your clothes feel different. All these pieces change because you chose to be confident in who you are right now.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:15:17]:

Right?

 

Erica Bennett [00:15:18]:

I know that that's hard for people. Hey there, it's Erica, your companion on this journey at The Crazy Ex-Wives Club. I want to make sure that you're aware of all the tools at your disposal as you navigate through this chapter of your life. First off, head over to the website thecrazyexwivesclub.com. Take the Finding Your Way Forward Quiz. It's designed to give you personalized insights, key behaviors you can start doing right now and it won't cost you a thing. Then, if you're looking for a bit more support, check out services. There are on demand resources, there are coaching programs, and there are other support options to help you in your healing process.

 

Erica Bennett [00:16:00]:

I value having you in this community, being a weekly listener and sharing it with those people in need. Thank you for walking this path with me together. How have you helped or how have you seen your clients move into that phase of, you know, they're not confident. They're here coming for help. They want style help, and then they've transitioned into having more confidence. What are some of the things people can do?

 

Courtney Robinson [00:16:27]:

Sure. The biggest way, again, is to press into what your current personal style is. Right. Really embracing those things that you love about yourself. Everybody has a feature that they really think, you know, whether it's their legs or maybe their chest, I don't know, it's something that they don't mind showcasing. And I say really capitalize on those things. Dress to your best advantage, those things that you know you love and that you know you love. To showcase those things that you get compliments on, you know, and then really use the, the power of color psychology, right? Figure out those colors that look really great on you, that light you up, and then consequently, as a ripple effect, light others up and really start to make sure that you're using some of those based on your coloring and your assessment, you know, in your wardrobe.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:17:17]:

So, I mean, those are just really, really easy and tangible ways that you can do that pretty quickly, you know, to start to see a change in your wardrobe and how it makes you feel.

 

Erica Bennett [00:17:30]:

Yeah. Because we all know that the, you know, the person who we think is the most beautiful in a room really is not coming down to what they're wearing or what they look like. It's coming down to how happy they seem; how confident they are. Right. We can think about. That's the radiant smile. It's the laugh that you hear. It's how outgoing.

 

Erica Bennett [00:17:48]:

It's where they hold their space. And the same is true for you. It doesn't matter if you're wearing an expensive ball gown or a, you know, hand me down dress from somewhere else. If it feels good and you feel beautiful, that's what people pick up on.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:18:03]:

That's right. It emotes, and it's the same thing for your size. I want you to think about that. Whether you're a four or 24, how you choose to embody and show up is what people will. That's what magnetizes people. That's what they will remember.

 

Erica Bennett [00:18:20]:

I do love that. I remember one time I did a, you know, like, one of the local boutiques. You could have, like, an after-hours party. I hosted a party, right? I invited all my friends. Everybody came and shopped. There was food and snacks, and then I earned almost like, a commission on the product. I got free products out of it. It was super fun to host a little shop party night, and they have their people there to help dress you.

 

Erica Bennett [00:18:42]:

I remember one of my friends works in the clothing industry and in more of, like, a high-end boutique clothing line. And she was trying to help style me because this was new after the divorce, and she'd pick out these pieces, and they were gorgeous, and I'd put them on, but I just didn't feel like they were me, you know? And so even though everyone there was like, oh, my gosh, that dress is so beautiful. I was like, I don't feel like me, and where am I ever going to wear this? And this just doesn't seem to fit where I'm at, you know? And I don't like the new loose jeans. I'm hanging on to the tight jeans. Aren't there enough real. Aren't there enough memes about that? About, like, us older, middle-aged women? Who need to move into the current trend of jeans anyways.

 

Erica Bennett [00:19:27]:

You do whatever you guys want to do. I do not always follow the trends, but, yeah, I'm more about the skinny jeans and the bomber jacket and the, you know, love tank tops over and don't ever wear a button down. Like all these things. You just have personal preferences. They don't feel good. I don't like them. Even if they look good, even if I like the look of them on other people, I just don't feel like me in them.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:19:52]:

Right. And that's, that's the most important thing, is that you have to feel, again, comfortable, and confident that that wins every single time. And, you know, be dialed into who you are and don't be afraid to show up in your authenticity, whether it's a trend or not, you know? Right.

 

Erica Bennett [00:20:11]:

I mean, gosh, I do love that. I love, I mean, as a young child, I really liked punky Brewster style. If you talk about throwback tv shows, I just liked it being funky and, you know, mismatched. And the more mismatched it was, the more I felt like it went together. And that still kind of holds true. I have worn some wild and crazy patterns together and been like, yeah, what are you going to do about it? This is how I live. And it's because it's just something that feels, instead of me trying, instead of me trying to fit the current trend and have it all buttoned up, that's really stressful for me. I instead want to just break the trends and throw as many things together as I can.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:20:51]:

Right, right.

 

Erica Bennett [00:20:52]:

You know, and that's, again, personal preference. Personal style. You won't find me doing whatever the trend is. But I do love what I wear.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:21:00]:

Absolutely. And that's important. And you don't have to follow the trend to be stylish.

 

Erica Bennett [00:21:05]:

No. And I think we get caught up in that because in some ways, that's probably the easiest way, but the most expensive way. Right. If you just always want to be on trend, every single season, every few months, you're floating back into the store that you shop at, you're buying all of their new launches. They love that. Right? They live for that.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:21:23]:

They do, yeah.

 

Erica Bennett [00:21:24]:

But you don't have to do it that way. So how can somebody revamp their wardrobe without breaking the bank? Because that was always, you know, it was definitely easiest when I could go in and I could set a budget and, you know, inflation is different these days, but if I set a budget and said, okay, I had $500 to spend or maybe it's $800 to spend, and my goal is to come out with the foundations of a new wardrobe. Right, right. What sort of pieces should I be building off of?

 

Courtney Robinson [00:21:52]:

Right. Well, there's several different things. I think you have to be very intentional, again, about what it is you want. Those areas of your life that you need to show up in. And that would kind of guide those pieces that you would then add. If you need to show up strong, you're an entrepreneur. You need to show up strong virtually, then we might want to add some pieces that help you pop, you know, on camera.

 

Erica Bennett [00:22:20]:

Right. Which is one of the ones. Hold on. We're not going to move on past that one because that is a real one that people don't really understand. And the only reason I understood, and I'm actually kind of failing today because I have a black sweater on over a dark gray couch. I'm like, fading into the background. But I didn't realize that until I had to do some recording, some training videos in the corporate world. And I don't do things with a lot of structure.

 

Erica Bennett [00:22:42]:

I do very flowy. I do wraps. I do movement. Right. And they were like, no, no. If you're on camera, you are there. Something has to hold the structure. And so, you, if you're on camera a lot, you know, having like, that blazer, which can be really uncomfortable, but having the structure of the shoulders or how it shows up differently.

 

Erica Bennett [00:23:01]:

We don't think about that. But yes. If you're prioritizing for work on Zoom calls, you get to wear leggings, you get to wear athleisure on the bottom and something fancy on the top. If you were prioritizing to try and figure out your new dating side so you're trying to get back out in the market, what do you think that they should be looking at then?

 

Courtney Robinson [00:23:22]:

You definitely want to look at some of the keys to looking put together. Whatever your style is, fit is one of the keys. Right. You want to wear things that really accentuate your body shape. Like you said, if you're into jeans, you want to wear jeans that fit and make you look good, right. You don't want to wear baggy jeans and you don't want to wear whatever the style is. You want to wear something that makes you feel good and also makes you look good. Right.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:23:53]:

You want pieces that are going definitely going to be comfortable, right. Because guys like to get adventurous with these dates these days. You know, dress for what type of dates do you want to be taken on? If you want to go on dinner dates, then maybe you want some sleak lbds, you know, little black dresses and. Or maybe you want some colorful dresses. Yeah.

 

Erica Bennett [00:24:16]:

And I think that relates to not only where do you want to go on the date, but what type of partner are you looking for? You know, are you looking for some. I have some friends that are like, oh, my gosh, I want a suit-wearing man. And I was like, awesome. That would not be top on my list, but it's top on their list, which means that they also are going to dress a little different to be partnered with a suit wearing man.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:24:36]:

Exactly. Everything is about the culture, the culture of wherever you're going. You want to dress accordingly. Right. You guys are going on a nice date to, you know, like this, you know, amazing five-star restaurant, then you want to look your best. If you feel comfortable in dresses, let's find a dress that makes you look amazing. Right. If you're going to dinner in a movie where that's a little bit more, you know, comfortable, then again, let's find. It doesn't have to be jeans if you're not into jeans, but let's find some slacks or a really nice, you know, a line skirt or something that really, again, accentuates your best features.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:25:18]:

That really fits your body type. Right. It's really important for you to understand your body type. There are stylists that are of different opinions, but I'm going to tell you, when you dress for your body type, and what that simply means is dressing to bring symmetry. Right. It doesn't mean dressing to cover up or to hide anything. It just means to bring symmetry so that your outfit looks well put together, that you look like you are dressing with intention. Right.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:25:49]:

That you meant it. You didn't just throw it on. You really took some consideration to look your best. So, yeah, there are so many things. I think dressing for the occasion is really important, and dressing for your body type is equally as important.

 

Erica Bennett [00:26:03]:

Yeah. You know, the last thing I would love for us to talk a little bit about is accessorizing, because that is also about balance, and that is also something that I'm like an all or nothing kind of gal and I haven't really figured out the sweet spot. Again, same approach. Ooh, I really like this necklace, or I really like these earrings, and I bring it home, and all of a sudden I can wear earrings, but I don't have a necklace that goes with it, or I, you know, all of a sudden, you're like, well, wait, I have bracelets and I have rings and I have necklace and I have earrings or there's a belt. Understanding how to leverage those finishing touches can really take, you know, a black tank top and jeans with some nice boots or heels. But when you put the right accessories on, it transforms it into next level.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:26:47]:

Right.

 

Erica Bennett [00:26:48]:

What do we need to learn about that?

 

Courtney Robinson [00:26:50]:

You're right. Accessories really do elevate your style, and it's all in the details. Right. So first we start with, are you a jewelry person or are you not? Some women really are not. Right. They're minimalists in every sense of the word. They could care less about, you know, jewelry or anything like that. But accessories, it's not just jewelry.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:27:13]:

Accessories can be your shoes. Right. Accessories can be your outer wear.

 

Erica Bennett [00:27:19]:

Yeah.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:27:19]:

Accessories can be your glasses if you wear them. Naturally, your handbag. The watch that you choose to wear. So, I mean, it's not just jewelry. There are so many other things that you can use to accessorize. If you're into glasses, which I've had many clients that are, maybe you find different funky ones. Right. Maybe it's not just a classic eyeglass, but it's something that speaks to your personality. If you're into scarves and flowy things, find those fabrics and materials and prints that speak to who you are.

 

Erica Bennett [00:27:55]:

Yeah.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:27:55]:

It's just about infusing those parts of your personality into those accessories. You know, I'm hugely into shoes, and I love prints. Animal prints, any type of thing, you know, any type of print I gravitate toward. It's a fun way for me to mix things up and just think about having a statement piece, like you said. If you have a basic outfit, what could you use to be the statement piece in your outfit?

 

Erica Bennett [00:28:26]:

Yeah.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:28:27]:

And that could be an accessory, or it could just be a style of something. It could definitely be the fabric, too.

 

Erica Bennett [00:28:35]:

Yeah. I think what really worked for me is once I found, like, shoes that I could walk in. Because you need to make sure. Don't buy the shoes and not wear them around the house for a while. Sometimes I'd buy shoes. You know, the end of the day, you go buy shoes. That's a mistake because your feet are swollen, and then the next morning, the shoes are falling off your feet.

 

Erica Bennett [00:28:52]:

I learned really fast that I do better with, like, shoes that have some strappiness versus, like, ones that I might just kick off somewhere. Once I made sure my shoes were there and then slacks or a skirt or jeans. The bottom half, then the top. I could rotate through different cami tops with different jackets over it and rotate out jewelry. It was something that I was always comfortable in. I knew that it was going to look good. I could put it together really quickly in a moment's notice and still felt good without having to chase, like, okay, I've got this new summer dress, but I don't have the shoes for it. And then my jewelry isn't matching and, oh, my gosh, I don't have a bag for it.

 

Erica Bennett [00:29:35]:

It was like, I found a section of. This is just really easy, especially when it was, like, first dates, you know, like, really easy. We're just moving through, like, this is my go-to outfit for the first few dates because I know that it's comfortable. I know what it looks like, and I know that it looks good together.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:29:55]:

Exactly. And you made a great point. It's, again, that's about outfit planning and finding things that are designed to work together so you don't have to spend all this money to curate something for your date nights. Just find a few key pieces that you can mix and match.

 

Erica Bennett [00:30:12]:

Yeah.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:30:13]:

And create different outfits and accessorize to switch them up. You know, different shoes, different jewelry, different makeup. Wear your hair differently. I mean, and it's a whole new outfit.

 

Erica Bennett [00:30:26]:

Yeah. And I would say, too, if you're struggling, like you have the outfit, but you don't have the shoes, wear the outfit, and go shoe shopping. So. Because otherwise you're trying to partner, you think it's going to work or you don't, you know, and all of a sudden you get home, and it doesn't. Bring it with. There's a piece that you're like, I really want to find some accessories for this outfit, or I really want to find different shoes for this outfit. Okay, bring it with. Just get changed while you're there.

 

Erica Bennett [00:30:50]:

Try it on. Make sure that it fits. It's just a little added, like, oh, okay, don't wind up like. Don't wind up like, my closet used to look like that. Sometimes it still does where I'd be, like, all these great individual pieces that created absolutely nothing together. It was always stressful trying to get ready to go do something.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:31:12]:

Yeah, we've all been there, but there's a cure for it. And that's. That's a capsule building a, you know, starting there. And the capsule wardrobe can be anywhere from 20 to 40 pieces. And that's inclusive of everything, like your accessories, all of that. So, you know, you really can do more with less. I think we're trying to think if you have more that allows you to show up, but it actually is the opposite. You're struggling to decide because you have so much to choose from, where if you have this really intentional wardrobe with all the pieces that you feel good and you love, and it's easy for you to mix and match, then you're better apt and more quickly prepared to pick something out.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:31:55]:

You're not spending, like, an hour in your closet trying to figure it out. You know, you can spend a few minutes and really curate an outfit that. That you look amazing.

 

Erica Bennett [00:32:03]:

Yeah, absolutely. I don't know if you have any tips because I think the hardest part right now, for me at least, I used to only shop when I traveled. I didn't like shopping in my hometown, and now I'm not traveling as much. Or when I travel, like, I go to a beach place and I come home with five new dresses that work for the beach, and it's snowing outside.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:32:29]:

Right?

 

Erica Bennett [00:32:30]:

Like, I'm like, I loved this when I was down on the coast, and now I get it back and I'm like, this looks kind of weird in my town. It's always kind of a struggle, I think, too, with how Amazon is changing things. You know, they really have a lot of clothes on there, but you never know if it's going to be just good enough fast fashion or if it's going to be really terrible. The malls seem to be, they're holding out there, but they are the dying breed. Right? Your department stores, like, oh, my gosh, there's a whole new shift happening in the shopping world of fashion. I don't know how you navigated that or any experience.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:33:06]:

Yeah. I think my tips are a, you've got to start in your closet. You know, you've got to start, and you've got to get rid of the things that no longer work. You have to figure out what you need to add and then be intentional about filling in those gaps. And then while you're feeling in the gaps, you need to be very honest with yourself about, you know, what's the highest level that I'm willing to invest in. Right. Because you really need to think about quality versus quantity. You could go out there and buy all the fast fashion off of Shein or Temu or wherever people are shopping now, Amazon.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:33:41]:

But if that's not the quality that's going to last you, then you're going to be in this position in a few months to a year. Right. So why not go ahead and make the better investment? Shop for quality things that are classic and timeless that you're going to be able to wear for some time. If budget is a consideration for you, you really do want to consider the quality of clothing that you're investing in.

 

Erica Bennett [00:34:05]:

Yeah, because I think when I have invested in pieces, they have lasted for years versus when I have gotten fast fashion, and it's just not hanging up. And there's a place for both, you know? Like, sometimes I'm over at target buying $5 tank tops because I just need a bunch of layering tank tops.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:34:22]:

Yeah.

 

Erica Bennett [00:34:23]:

And that's fine.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:34:24]:

Absolutely.

 

Erica Bennett [00:34:25]:

But know that, you know, like, I think about. I have a pair of. They're so old. Urban outfitters slacks. Plaid. They're gray plaid. And I bought them when I was 22. They are so old.

 

Erica Bennett [00:34:39]:

They're 20 plus years old. And I bought them in college, and that was a huge investment for me. You know, I'm a college student, and I paid, I think it was something like 85 or $95 for one pair of slacks. And I just remember, you know, this, like, I couldn't breathe. Like, I can't believe you just did that. Are you really gonna wear these? Cause they're kind of funky, but every time I wear them, people are like, where did you get those? And it was a great investment, and I love them dearly. And then there's pieces that I don’t love. You know, I bought a lululemon sweater once,

 

Erica Bennett [00:35:12]:

because I felt it's good quality, but I didn't love the fit. And I kept trying to tell myself that it's great quality and you love the brand, so you'll eventually get used to the fit. And that is not what happened. You just got to balance where you want those quality pieces. Mine are always black sweaters. I love black sweaters. Off the shoulder black sweater, if you know of any. You guys drop me a message because I need more.

 

Erica Bennett [00:35:35]:

But, yeah, those ones, I'm like, I want you to last forever, and then how you care for it. I hand wash. Right. Delicate wash everything. I never dry anything. Blacks are always super important. There's a lot of ways you can get stuff to last a lot longer, so you're not having to go buy new stuff all the time.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:35:51]:

Right, right. Protect your investment, for sure.

 

Erica Bennett [00:35:54]:

Yeah, absolutely. Well, it has been wonderful to chat with you today, Courtney.

 

Courtney Robinson [00:36:01]:

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

 

Erica Bennett [00:36:03]:

Well, thank you so much Courtney, for joining. As usual, you guys. If you want to find out more about Courtney, follow along for more style mentorship. All of her details, her website, her social handles, they are all in the show description. They're also at thecrazyexwivesclub.com under episodes, so make sure that you give her a follow and check out even more amazing tips. Thank you again, Courtney. And until next week's episode, you guys go dig through your closet, clean it out, make some room for something new, and we'll talk to you next week. And that's it.

 

Erica Bennett [00:36:44]:

Another great episode of the Crazy Ex Wives Club, a podcast for women learning how to heal from their divorce. Tune in next week for more advice and tips to help you figure out life after divorce. And until then, give yourself grace. Do the best you can and know that this is all part of the process.